Slideshow image

This is another question I am asked regularly. In some ways, this is a very hard question to answer. For me to even attempt this, I have to establish some parameters.

First, this post assumes that you are a member and have been in this capacity for 5+ years. You consider this your home church.

Second, this post assumes you have already prayed about this, sought counsel from a godly mentor and have humbly approached the leadership about your concerns.

Third, this post assumes you have been patient, allowing time for God to soften hearts and for the necessary changes to happen. In other words, you can confidently say that you have not been brash, impatient or divisive. Some might ask, “How long must you wait?” Good question. I don’t know. But long enough where your mentor (who is objective and outside the situation) would defend your patient and godly approach.

Now that these parameters have been established, let’s proceed. I have broken down three categories: 1) Legitimate Reasons; 2) Possible Legitimate Reasons and 3) Non-legitimate Reasons

**Please note: Since the Bible is not explicit in its instruction regarding this topic, I understand that there is an innate subjectivity to this list. I simply ask that you read with an open mind.

Legitimate Reasons

Primary Doctrinal Error/s

This is the easiest reason to give. If a church chooses to reject one of the main (primary) doctrinal tenets of the Christian faith, then this is an acceptable reason to leave the church.

What are the doctrines?

  • The Trinity
  • The Deity of Christ
  • The Resurrection
  • The Exclusivity of Christ in Salvation

False Teaching/s

This reason is broader and more difficult to define. But here are a few (not all) examples that fit in this category.

  • Denial of the Second Coming
  • Rejection of the Inspiration of the Bible
  • A false gospel (i.e. health and wealth gospel)

Again, it is important to note that the member has attempted (probably multiple times) to convey his/her concerns and then confronting the leadership in love, calling them to repentance and to a fidelity to the historic and orthodox teachings of the Christian faith. And yet, if over time, these concerns/confortations are disregarded, leaving the church is not only acceptable, but I would say necessary.

Unblblical leadership

This reason is closely connected to the above reasons. First, if the church has elders that are not qualified under the guidelines of 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 or are living in consistent disobedience to these qualifications, these concerns ought to be brought forward and confronted, using the biblical formula. Again, I am not talking about one-time offenses. Elders are not perfect. Pastors (who are elders) are not perfect. I am talking about those who are consistently and defiantly, sinning, whether it is by immoral living or not living out the fruits of the Spirit.

Second, if the leadership is teaching heresy or false teaching/s. Once again, if there is no repentance and willingness to return to biblical accuracy, in doctrine and/or in deed, after several attempts, allowing time for God to soften their hearts, then sadly, the member has no recourse but to leave the fellowship of that local church.

Possible Legitimate Reasons

I want to be very clear. When I use the word “possible”, I am using it as a synonym for “rarely” (but “rarely” is awkward). To say it a different way, the below reasons are possible reasons to leave, but they are rare, because most of the time, these are NOT good enough reasons to leave. Let me explain.

Philosophical changes

Sometimes a local church will change their philosophy of ministry. And often it is a good thing. For example, maybe there is a shift from superficial, predominantly anecdotal preaching to deeper, textual, expository sermons. In my opinion, that is a good shift. Here is another one. Going from a church that focuses exclusively on edification of the Saints to a church that brings proper attention to evangelism, both local and global.

But a negative philosophical shift can be harmful and possibly, unbiblical.  For example, let’s examine a shift from a traditional model to a performance-based, seeker sensitive model. Now hear me, I am NOT talking about the use of technology. Quite frankly, if you are not using technology, you are alienating the last two generations and their primary way of communicating and receiving data. But a shift to a culture that elevates entertainment and the idolatry of an emotional experience is dangerous and can be the first step down a slippery slope, which ultimately produces a man-centered, not a God-centered church.

But you might ask, “But what is the problem with a seeker-sensitive philosophy?” The main problem is the watering down of the gospel. For example, repentance and the denial of self is part of biblical conversion. Both of those elements require an acknowledgement that we are sinful beings, in need of forgiveness. Furthermore, rejection of the gospel means an eternity separated from God. This revelation is offensive to many. The gospel itself is offensive to those who do not have ears to hear (1 Peter 2:7-8). If a church, because of their philosophy, begins to watered-down or even change the gospel (i.e. the health and wealth gospel movement), then removing yourself from that fellowship is necessary.

Change in leadership

This reason is similar to the previous reason, but again the change has to be drastic. I am not talking about subtle differences. For example, if a new lead pastor, in his preaching, unpacks the text, tries to use good application, but is not as funny as the previous pastor, that is NOT a legitimate reason to leave the church. Or on the other side, if the new pastor is not as textual-heavy, preaches 30 minute sermons rather than 45 minutes and uses more video clip illustrations, this is also NOT a legitimate reason to leave the church. Yeah, but I like the other guy better. So what? Be faithful to your church family. Believe that God has brought him there to somehow grow you in a different way.

But what if the new pastor does not work hard in preaching? He is lazy. He brings nothing original to the table. Maybe. But you still need to wait a year or so to see the pattern of his preaching ministry. But what if the new pastor is moralistic and not preaching “Christ crucified”? What if he is always talking about behaviorism and rarely the transforming power of the gospel? Again, pray, seek counsel, be patient and don’t make an emotional decision.

Oh, and one more thing. Ask yourself this question: “How does change occur?” Change occurs when people are steadfast, prayerful and willing to step up. If everyone leaves, the church is doomed to continue in this pattern. God often calls people to stay, praying in and for the gaps.

Poorly run ministries

As a teenager, I enjoyed going to youth group. I loved the games, the fellowship, camps, retreats and sometimes, the teaching. Now as a parent, I wanted my kids to have the same experience. And yet, especially in children and student ministries, many families wrestle with going to a different church, because the ministry is simply run better. Better trained staff. Better preaching. Better security. Better discipleship. Better programs. Again, I have wrestled with this myself. What should a parent do? And let’s assume this parent is not wishy-washy. I mean…..your kids are only in the home for so long. There is an urgency. I get all of that. I guess I would first ask you this, “Do you think God brought you to this local church?” If your answer is yes, then maybe you are there to help spearhead the necessary changes. Someone has to be the first through the wall. Laying the right foundation takes time and the right people. I would say most of the time, a poorly run ministry is not a legitimate reason. But once again, if you have talked to the leadership, offered to serve and support the current staff, prayed and waited for some signs of even a small change and still there is no movement, it might be time to leave.

Shift in focus on non-essential doctrines or man-made traditions

I get really frustrated with Christians who are argumentative and divisive about secondary and/or tertiary doctrines. These Christians are petty, immature and pugnacious. Why are we arguing over the timing of the rapture? That is not eternally important. Why are we arguing over the extent of the Atonement? Again, this is not eternally important.

That being said, I do believe (under rare circumstances) leaving a church because of an unhealthy focus on non-essential doctrine is legitimate. In other words, when a church elevates non-essential doctrines to the place of essential doctrines (officially or non-officially), this is cause of great concern. Why? Because it is cultivating a culture of legalism.

The Pharisees were criticized by Jesus because they put up hedges. These hedges were meant to prevent people from sinning on the Sabbath or in general, staying ceremonially pure. But when the religious leaders began to condemn people for disobeying the hedges, which were man-made, Jesus took offense to that. For example, if a church makes a pre-tribulational view of the rapture (or any view of the rapture) a test of doctrinal fidelity, this puts unnecessary theological shackles on people. If a church elevates a certain dress code, a certain bible translation, a certain theological system, to the place only reserved for essential doctrines, this church is unhealthy and has lost its way.

Does this mean leave immediately? No, of course not. The same rules apply. Pray. Talk to the leadership. Don’t be divisive. Be patient.

Non-legitimate Reasons

The reasons below are not legitimate reasons to leave. Not okay under any circumstances.

Personal conflict

People leave for this reason all the time. Someone offended them. Someone confronted them. Or a myriad of other reasons, connected to personal conflict. This is not a legitimate reason. Work out your issues. Christians are indwelt and empowered by the Holy Spirit. We are told to live out the fruits of the Spirits. We are called to a ministry of reconciliation because God sent His Son to reconcile us to Himself. If you have an issue with someone, go work it out. We are a spiritual family. Families are messy. But we still need to love each other and work things out. If two people understand forgiveness and how much they have been forgiven, there is no reason reconciliation cannot happen.

Furthermore, a biblical church should do their homework and send people back to their previous church, if reconciliation has not occurred. All they are doing is bringing their unresolved issues into a new church. Love people enough to send them back.

Personal preference

I am aware that the word preference assumes some degree of subjectivity. Some readers may argue that much of the content of this blog post is subjective. Maybe so. But since the Bible does not lay about specific commands (specifically about leaving the church), but rather principles, it is inevitable that we must seek counsel and live with our decisions. Nevertheless, in general, personal preference is not a legitimate reason to leave a church. You prefer hymns to contemporary music. Wonderful. Not a reason to leave. You prefer expository sermons (verse by verse) to topical sermons. Awesome. So do I. Not a reason to leave. Yes, but our church does a greeting time. It weirds me out. I don’t like it. Again, I appreciate your honesty. Not a legitimate reason. My church just took away the pews. I don’t like the chairs. Too bad. Stay and deal with it.

Honestly, if these are the reasons you want to leave your home church after 5+ years, you need to grow up. You are immature. I mean this in love. But yes…..grow up.

Jesus called 12 disciples to Himself. All different. Different backgrounds. Different occupations. Different political views. But they all followed Jesus. I know, I know. This is the local church, not Jesus Himself. True, but let me remind you that Jesus is the head of the church. I bet if we fixed our eyes more on Him and less on ourselves, we would engage more, argue less and be instruments of change.

Conclusion

Christians, love each other well. Stay and fight for unity. The world needs to see a different community. Let’s show them what Jesus died for.